Just so you know, I am actually forcing myself to sit down and write this post/a post…
Often during the day, I will tell mysef, “Oh I need to remember to write about this, or I need to reflect on that…” But when I sit down, all motivation, inspiration, or deep thoughts go out the window- replaced with a much needed nap, quiet time, or brainless surfing other blogs and websites…
Even now as I write, and a thunder of emotions are swirling though my head and heart… but that pillow that lays beside me is SO much more inviting. I do think that it is important for me to reflect during this time, and to record my feelings, and keep you all updated, so I will ignore sleeps calling for now and attempt to bring you all up to speed.
It’s been quite the week for feeling sick. I am starting a new trend: Eat breakfast- then puke. Eat lunch – then puke. Nap. Wake up from Nap- feel queasy. Then Puke. Then eat supper. Nice huh. I thought that things were suppose to get better as the baby grew- not worse…oh well… it HAS been worse… so I will tolerate this for only 12 more weeks. Then I am DONE. Ya’ll hear me? I am DONE! I can’t wait to hold this wee one in my arms…
We found a hospital that we like. It is only 20-25mins away. It is nice and clean, very much like american hospitals, except this one is very small. I like that it is smaller- makes it feel cozier I guess. It was fun walking around knowing that this is where I would meet my little girl for the first time… I have tons of conflicting thoughts on the whole dr./labour/delivery that comes with the package – but I’ll save that for it’s own post…
I am so excited to have a quick trip to the States. The perfect birthday present! Bella and Caleb seem ok now with me leaving. ( I am sure there will be many tears the day of) But they get to stay with three of the coolest people, Daddy, Grandma, and Grandpa! I know that they are going to have fun. I can’t believe that I am really going. I have these dreams that somebody is going to stop me at customs and say I am not allowed to re- enter ! 
The USA seems SO far away, almost unreal. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that I will be there soon. When we came to Brazil, I just figured it would be a long time before I returned. I am torn. I love Brazil, feel so at peace here, yet there are so many people in the states that I love. I wonder if I will ALWAYS feel like I want to be in the “other” country no matter what country I am in? Regardless I am loving , loving Brazil, and I am loving that I get to love on the americans for a couple of weeks!
I haven’t even begun to think about what 2 weeks without Michael will be like. I consider myself pretty independent UNTIL it comes to him. Simply because I don’t want to become independent from him. He is Mr. Wonderful, and I love love love being with him. He makes me laugh, smile, feel comfortable and safe, warm and protected. He makes the time fly by- and “almost” every minute with him is enjoyable… “Honey you should really lay off the cars subject for a while and find a new topic!” This is the longest we will be apart since being married. So we will see how we handle it. I say “WE” because I know that I am not alone in this sentiment, I have a feeling I will be missed ALMOST as much as I will be missing him! He is threatening to do something “drastic” when I am gone, like trade in our car, or shave his head. Personally I think he should take care of “our future birth control method”, if you get my drift But again that is a WHOLE other post topic!
Language is sllllllooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww coming. But I am surviving. And that is what counts right? I know that it will come, so I am trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I am very grateful that there are women at the church who are willing to try to talk to me. Also it has been very sweet to feel like the language doesn’t hinder me from having friends. Warm smiles, and hugs have done wonders for me when I think that I am NEVER gonna get it. Being at home with the kids slow things down for sure, but it is more feeling crappy that hinders me. When I am up to it I try to take them to the park, and eventually I want to learn the bus route so we can spend an afternoon in town. I also won’t say no to an oppourtunity when I am feeling semi “good”. This week we have spent a few good hours in front of the t.v. AND I have begun a portuguese program that the kids are willing to sit and try with me. It is so humbling listening to them get every word pronounced just right, and I get to have this “cute” accent. Oh well!
Gabriella and Caleb are doing well. Just this past week I have been listening to the two of them try phrases on each other when playing. It is adorable! Bella listens to EVERYTHING that is going on around her, so I think that this trait will over take her shyness. Oh and Michael’s portuguese is going well too
So I am sure that there is SO much more lacking that I need to share- but I am spent. So forgive me if their is holes in this post!
