The Bare Nakie Truth

Want the bare nakie truth? This whole sleep issue my daughter has. Hmm. I am begining to wonder if the issue was with ME the entire time, and really had very little to do with her.

We have almost completed two full days of sleep training, and she is doing great. The first morning nap seemed to be a shock to her system. She was confused with the sudden change of pattern.  It took about 45 minutes of me picking her up when she cried, and putting her back down in her crib, before she just gave in, closed her eyes, and fell into a deep sleep. Later that afternoon, it only took about 20 minutes. Oh but her little pout, with her tear filled eyes staring at me…almost did me in. All I wanted to do was snuggle her close and rock her to sleep.

The Bare Nakie Truth?

 I felt like a Betrayer of the worst kind.

Last night she was fast asleep in 15 minutes by 8pm. I was floored. Really? That easy? She is a quick learner, and even though I know she isn’t a huge fan of falling asleep by herself, I think she may actually dig sleeping by herself. I’ll never know but I wonder if she would have been much happier if I actually made more of an effort a long time ago to put her in her own bed, in her own room.

Happier if I didn’t hold her so tight…

I figured, she needed me close.

Or well maybe I needed her. I needed that last baby snuggle.

Because Lili is our last, each milestone is  filled with both joy and bittersweet pain. I am longing to soak, squeeze and cherish every baby filled moment I can get with my Little Lili. My heart is bursting. It literally hurts. I don’t want my baby to grow up. Grow farther away from me. Need me less.

 That is the bare nakie truth.

Our middle of the night was rough. She has been taught that when she awakes, Mama will happily snuggle and nurse her to sweet sleep. It took about two hours for her to go back to bed. Sometimes she would cry in anger, but most of the time she was whimpering and struggling to get  comfortable and relax. I did enjoy listening to her babble in the dark, she even giggled a few times. I think she was delirious! I sat/stood by her crib and held her a few times when she really needed me.

The bare nakie truth?

 It felt good in those moment to be needed. To mommy my baby. These moments are numbered. Sometimes I hate truth.

Today was better than yesterday. Each time I lay her down, it takes less time, and less snuggles for her to drift off.We have actually hit the five minute mark! I am so thankful she is begining to understand that I still there for her, but so proud that she can go to sleep by herself. There are of course a few glitches to work out, her daytime naps should be longer, and I am hoping to get rid of that 3 am night time feeding… one day.

The bare nakie truth?

 I’m not in a big rush.

My heart can only take so much all at once.