It takes courage to pick up a dream. I know this. In my life I have picked up several dreams. Moved countries. Fell in love. Got married. Moved countries again. Had babies. Started Businesses. Penned my heart on paper. Adopted…
It takes equally as much courage, if not more, to lay down a dream though. Oh how the core of my heart knows this all too well. I’ve seen dreams crumble out of my grasp just as much as I have had to lay them down for whatever reason and walk away . I’ve learned however, over the years where my identity comes from. It’s allowed me to keep walking forward when I feel broken and empty. It’s allowed me to continue dreaming. To continue journeying. These are lessons I wished I learned as a child and only learned as an adult.
This past June, our Bella who is more wise than I’ll ever be, courageously laid down a dream of hers. Willingly. On her own accord. She came to me early one morning, with tears and a resolve in her eyes, “Mama, I need to talk to you… I am done dancing.”
I let her talk as she spilled out her heart with all her reasons why. She is so smart, and so articulate. I was surprised with how she laid out her feelings with so much ease. She said she had been thinking about it for months, and had just reached a decision. She didn’t want another year of feeling stressed about balancing her school work and practices. She didn’t want to devote so much time to something that she didn’t see being a part of her life forever. She felt her childhood washing away, and she was tired of the pressure . She wanted permission to dream new dreams. She wanted more time at home and less time in the studio.
She wanted to be home.
H O M E.
Ironically it was dance that helped her be at home with who she is. It gave her confidence, strength, and the ability to believe in herself. Dance has transformed her into the person she is today, and Michael and I will always be thankful for that .
As hard as it is to let her walk away from something that she has so much potential in, Michael and I believe that this is her decision, and we support her. Trust me when I say we wrestled with giving her permission to decided for herself. It was so very difficult .But ultimately we believe that her dreams need to be hers alone. I suppose as parents we lay down certain dreams for our children too.
We gave her the summer to change her mind, but she didn’t waver. She said that when she decided to not dance she felt a peace and lightness seep into her, and she is holding onto that peace. She truly believes that laying down this dream is the best thing for her.
How can I argue with that?
She is home more now, and honestly it feels so good. These next few years are bound to go by too quickly. And before we know it she will be busy picking up more dreams than she is laying down. I am thankful for this time with her. It feels like stolen time in a world that is so busy.
I don’t know what dream she will pick up next. But I do know that our Bellabunhead is so talented, capable, intelligent, and determined that she will succeed at whatever she sets her heart on .
“I love you Bella. You are my joy. ”