Dugans InCahoots

Look at what is popping up in my yard! These sweet little lovelies! I am so excited to see them bloom. It has been so much fun to look around and see all sorts of green beauties pop up everywhere. Truly warms my heart. I had assumed that the previous owner was not much of a gardener. Turns out I was wrong. What a nice surprise!

C25K Week Two- Day One

I woke up this morning and completely talked myself out of running. I had all sorts of excuses.

{I was tired. It was foggy outside. I deserve a break for the weekend. I did so well all week. My kids need me. My coffee, blanket, and view were all so delicious. }

Then in another second, I completely talked myself back into it. I had all sorts of reasons.

{I am trying to establish a routine. If I dont do this today, I may not return to it on Monday. It is so beautiful outside. I can take a break from the kids. }

All this arguing with myself was exhausting! I am really hard to deal with!

I think the break from the kids won out, so out the door I went. I decided against the lake, not knowing how secluded it is on Saturday mornings, and found myself challenging those hills for a fight.

Not small hills in case you are wondering, but hills like this one:

I didn’t have the stroller to push today, and the difference it made was amazing! I am surprised how well I was able to do it today. I reached the half way point, and thought , “already? ” Although I admit that I was very thankful every time I was instructed to walk.

I came home very excited that I accomplished today! I am really hesitant how this will progress. It seems to hard , so undoable. But I’m not stopping or giving up!

I am finding myself super hungry during the day, it is so annoying. Also finding healthy things to snack on is another challenge I am facing. Especially since I am constantly hungry. I know that I am going to have to change the way I am eating though. After my run, I had to sit for awhile because I was a bit lightheaded. Anyone know why that could be? Too much sugar? Not enough sugar?

Excited to face tomorrow!

Confession: I used to be really active and fit. I loved to stretch and run my little heart out.   I was healthy. I had energy.

Then.

College happened.

Michael happened.

Marriage happened.

Pregnancy One Happened…

and number Two …

and number Three…

and before I realized it I lost myself.

I lost myself in many ways. But I believe that all started with my health.

Confession: I am Lazy.

My idea of a great day is laying around in bed, reading a fantastic novel, eating chips, and drinking coke. Now this day never happens. But I do spend a great deal of my day sitting. On the floor with the kids. On the floor folding clothes. At my desk writing and editing. In the car driving.

And I do drink a ton of coke.

I love fatty foods. I love fries. I love cream. I am addicted to white rice and Chipotle, and my coffee comes with a gallon of sugar. AND I drink more coffee than water. Terrible I know.

The last ten years have caught up to me. And I am done. I am finding myself to be moody, with little motivation and zero energy.

I resolved a few weeks ago that I was going to change.

Not drastically like I have done before. Drastic is more my cup of tea, however results are never lasting.

Instead there is a slow burn in the pit of my stomach to be the best person I can be. The best wife. mother. friend. and photographer. Physically. Spiritually. And Mentality. All three are intertwined. All three are very important to me. But for now I am just going to share my physical journey with you. So beware Cari is about to get personal.

I have been making small, but significant changes in my habits. And by small, I do not mean easy.

I have no longer been drinking coke by the hour. Or even by the day. I still crave it like nothing else, and will give in to that craving, if given the opportunity. But I have increased my water intake, and already can feel the difference.

I have been limiting my food portions to a more reasonable amount. This Mama can eat!

I have been eating breakfast which I havent consistently done in years. Breakfast makes me feel sick to my stomach, but I know it is important.

I have been forcing myself to sit down and eat a healthy lunch instead of snacking all day long on unhealthy food and then gorging at dinner time.

I have been eating fruit as a snack.

and I finally started the C25K program. Yay!

This isnt about weight loss, though I admit I am not happy with the current shape of my body.

This is about reclaiming my health. My energy. Reclaiming me.

So I will not weigh myself. I will not lament over the size of my jeans or belly.

I was very hesitant on sharing this journey on the blog and even considered journalling it privately to mark my progress. But the truth is I am not very disciplined, and I need accountability. I also need any encouragement I can get!

So here we go:

Week One: Day One C25k

Ah. How sweet it is to not be in the know.

Many of my friends have done the C25K successfully. I have been hearing them rave about it for over a year now. Surely if they love it, it can’t be that hard right…?

I didn’t have my jogging stroller yet for Lili, but I was anxious to start anyways. So I strapped her in, turned on the podcast and began  to walk. Three minutes into brisk walking I was panting for breath. And then the lady told me to run. So I did. Boy I was so relieved every time she told me to walk, and then I despised her when she told me to run.

Ten minutes into it I was ready to quit. My body was beat red, I was gasping for air. My legs burned, and sweat was pouring down my face. I was a site to see, not to mention I was pushing Lili in the umbrella stroller. Hello Neighborhood, Look at Me! It was a bit embarrassing!

Sadly I ended up walking most of the program. I came home feeling a bit defeated, but knowing I did the best I could made me feel a little bit better. I can easily run 2-3 miles on the treadmill so I was surprised that the terrain was so difficult!

By nine that night I could barely keep my eyes open. I was a goner.

Day Two 

I decided to wait to run again until I had my jogging stoller. Humility is good, but better in small portions!  My stroller came last night and is a beauty. I am very very excited about it. Lili is too! It is easy to push and turn and is very comfy for my sweet little passenger.

I went into today deciding that I was just going to pace myself. I will need to redo Week one next week; my end goal is to be healthy,  so if it takes me a little longer than others to get to 5K I am ok with that. As long as I am alive at the end.

My neighborhood is full of hills. They are pretty, but torture to a new runner. Today I  decided that I would take an easy straight path around the block. It is fairly level. The problem however was the distance. My thirty minute workout turned into an hour!

Again I walked more than I ran. I ended up ignoring the podcast and did what my body could. Lili was beside herself with my pace. She was shouting, “faster mama, faster! “.

Nice.

Thankfully I could just turn up the music to ignore her critiques , and eventually she fell asleep. I could not ignore all the jiggling of flab my body was doing, but I pressed on anyways, and prayed that nobody else noticed! Oh dear.

There is a lake ( that oddly enough I ran to today ) very close to my house. Tomorrow I am going to just drive there, and see if I can manage to run it and avoid all things hilly. One day I will own those hills, but let’s just see if I can manage the program first!

I feel pretty good about today, and am actually looking forward to tomorrow! I can do this!

These guys fill my days. And my heart. In ways nothing else can.

This weekend was divine. Seriously divine.

To be honest, I am not a fan of spring.

I know. Shocking. She hates winter but dreads spring? I know. Crazy.

The smell of fresh, wet dirt, stirs up too many memories of being sick when I was pregnant with the kids, and my emotions do a tailspin in the wrong direction. I can’t quite describe it, but springtime usually sets me on the verge of depression. Every year I feel a weight begin to press down on me.

I’ve learned to fight the “dark cloud” away with lots and lots of sun. Which thankfully is in abundance this year. I have had my windows wide open all weekend long. Hearing the birds sing is luxurious and causes my heart to soar. The cool breeze on my skin is welcoming. My children’s playful laughter is medicine to my soul.

I am waiting eagerly for the smell of dirt to be replaced by the scent of freshly cut grass.

Soon. Soon. Soon.

Spring brings promise to summer.

And I love summer.